AUGUST 24, 2026 FATHER PETER JAE CHOI
Recently, I was talking to a friend about travelling. A few minutes later all of the advertisements from my phone were about travelling, where I can buy airplane tickets, and what places to visit. I am sure the same thing has happened to you too. Our phones are always eavesdropping. Every time we use the internet, the web browser keeps track of the sites we visit and sells that information to data agencies to come up with advertisements that are custom made for you. Clive Humby who spent his entire career in data science once said, “data is the new oil.” We live in an information age, companies and even government agencies are always gathering information from us, because the data they gather helps improve their sales and productivity.
Consciously or unconsciously we are also gathering information about people. Every time we have a conversation with someone, our brain gathers and compiles that information. The important question is what do we do with the information? When I was a first year university student, a friend of mine asked me if I could go with her to this place that promised to help with weight loss. That company was being advertised on TV with testimonies and celebrity endorsements. When we got there we were met with a friendly sales agent who took time to explain the science behind their approach. Then came the sales pitch. Buy these packaged meals and you are guaranteed to lose weight. But being a student there was no way she could afford those packaged meals. So she politely thanked him for his time and we were getting up to leave. That’s when the sales agent changed the tone of voice and aggressively attacked her verbally, “Do you want to stay fat? I thought you wanted to lose weight?” As soon as he said that, she started to cry. I had no clue whether or not fat shaming was part of their sales tactic, but I was really upset, so I had to step in. I took a step towards him and put myself between him and my friend, and then yelled at him, “Hey! Look at me. You back off!” He immediately apologized and handed the brochure and told us we were welcome to come back anytime we were ready to discuss further.
In life we will encounter two kinds of people. There are those who sincerely care about us and will use their knowledge about us to provide us with encouragement and help we need just at the right time. And there are some who will use the knowledge against us for their own benefit.
Scholars believe Bartholomew and Nathaniel are one and the same person. So when Nathaniel met Jesus for the first time, Jesus praised him with the following words, “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!” Jesus didn’t criticize him for his skepticism. Jesus praised him for his honesty and sincerity. I am sure we all had moments when we felt insecure and worried about what other people may think of us. Will I get criticized or judged? Our brains are hardwired to give more weight to negative information than positive. This particular trait, being able to quickly assess and respond to threats, is how we humans survived. Unfortunately, this negative bias, our tendency to focus on the negative by magnifying criticisms and mistakes, often works against us. Even though nine people expressed their gratitude, the one complaint or criticism we heard is all that we will remember. While it is so easy to focus on the negative, doing so will not help us see the objective reality, nor will it help resolve our problems. When we are criticized our nervous system triggers a fight or flight response. We either feel wounded and shut down completely, or we become defensive and fire back with equally hurtful words. We may even up the ante with personal attacks.
Jesus didn’t criticize Nathaniel for his skepticism. But with His kindness, Jesus helped Nathaniel turn his skepticism and doubt into faith. Jesus helped to transform Nathaniel into a man of unwavering faith, a faithful disciple and a martyr.
Many years ago I heard a story that was very impactful for me. So I never forgot it. Once there was a girl who was ordinary. She wasn’t known for beauty or for any special talent. And the tradition in those days was that if a man wanted to ask a girl for a marriage, he would have to approach her father and make a marriage proposal by honouring the bride’s family with livestock, usually 2 cows, or 4 if the bride to be was exceptionally beautiful.
One day there was a passerby who was traveling without water. As the girl saw him looking thirsty she was filled with compassion, and offered him water. By the time he finished drinking water she had already disappeared from his sight.
When he returned home, he simply couldn’t forget about her. Her smile and kind demeanour. He had fallen in love. Some months went by and he was determined to find her. So he brought with him a caravan of servants and cows.
Word quickly spread. A fine young man was in search of a girl to marry. All the young maidens flocked out in the village square in their finest, in hopes of being chosen. But he was not interested in any of them.
He looked and looked but she was not in the crowd. He felt disappointed and sad. Then he thought to himself, she could be at the well drawing water. So he ran over to the same well he had first met her. Low and behold, there she was carrying a bucket of water over her head.
“I am the stranger whom you helped from the past. Please, can you take me to your father.” “Yes, of course,” she said, noticing for the first time his handsome appearance.
When the young man saw her father, he asked his daughter’s hand in marriage. He made his marriage proposal. “Sir, I fell in love with your daughter. I would like your permission to marry her. I would like to offer you 10 cows.” The father was very happy that this young man asked his daughter for marriage, and especially for making such an outlandish offer, 10 cows!
The word very quickly spread, and the villagers began treating the girl differently. They treated her with honour and respect. Every time people saw her they whispered among themselves, “That girl is very special! She’s a ten cow girl!” This prompted her to start behaving like a ten cow girl, with dignity and respect. Being treated with honour and respect had completely transformed her.
God does exactly the same with us. You are not ordinary. You are loved. You never ever have to worry about how God thinks or feels about you. Sometimes we forget how special we are in God’s eyes. He knows you, and understands you. St. Francis de Sales once said, “If you wear a mask, people will fall in love with the mask you wear and not you.” We do not have to feel insecure around Jesus. He knows us even better than we know ourselves. God is proud of your accomplishments. God will never criticize you for your weaknesses, but help you grow into the person you are meant to be.
